New · Shwarped Apparel

Wear Your Scales.

Reptile keeper tees for people who'd rather be surrounded by scales than people. Beardies, monitors, boas, retics — drawn with the same love we put into our games.

Heavyweight 6.1 oz ring-spun cotton · Sizes S–4XL · $22.99

Shop the Store →See the Designs ↓
The Cat? Haven't Seen Him.
If It's Not a Bearded Dragon…
Red Light. Green Light.

The Drop

Our starting lineup, available in 12 colors. More fresh, unique designs on the way.
Have an idea? Contact us →

View all in the store →
Red Light. Green Light. — Reptile Edition t-shirt

Red Light. Green Light.

Reptile Edition

A red beardie and a green tree monitor run the intersection.

$22.99Buy →
If It's Not a Bearded Dragon… — Well, it's just not! t-shirt

If It's Not a Bearded Dragon…

Well, it's just not!

Every morph on one shirt. Beardie people will understand.

$22.99Buy →
The Cat? Haven't Seen Him. — Reticulated Python t-shirt

The Cat? Haven't Seen Him.

Reticulated Python

A very innocent retic with nothing to hide.

$22.99Buy →
I Have a Kenyan Sand Boa — I promise. t-shirt

I Have a Kenyan Sand Boa

I promise.

He's in there somewhere. Probably under the sand.

$22.99Buy →
It's Not as Black & White as It Seems — Asian Water Monitor t-shirt

It's Not as Black & White as It Seems

Asian Water Monitor

Both morphs, side by side at the water’s edge.

$22.99Buy →

Printed and shipped by Fourthwall. Sizes S–4XL. Relaxed fit, 100% ring-spun cotton.

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Also from Shwarped

Local 3D Printing, Delivered.

Find a model on MakerWorld, Printables, or Thingiverse. Send us the link. We print it and get it to you — no printer, no filament, no failed prints on your end.

Up to 256 × 256 × 256 mm per piece · Free quotes, no obligation

Get a Free Quote →
Shwarped Media Games — By Kids, For Kids. Priced for Parents!

Our Games

Where it all started. Each one built with the same promise: no garbage, just fun.

Flavor Quest gameplay
Flavor Quest icon

Flavor Quest!

by Shwarped Media

Ages 5–11iPhone & iPadFree to StartFully Offline

Three cartoon judges. One kitchen. Play your way — cook to impress or cook for chaos. Either way, Lumpy, Corky, and Rainbow bring the drama.

5 free levels · Unlock all 50 with a one-time purchase · No subscriptions

Lumpy
Lumpy
Corky
Corky
Rainbow
Rainbow
Download on the App Store
Available at Amazon Appstore
The Monkey Works gameplay
The Monkey Works icon

The Monkey Works

by Shwarped Media

Ages 5+iPhone & iPadFree to StartFully Offline

Press the button. Get a banana. Get it wrong? Get zapped! Keep the monkey alive as long as you can — but the fruit machine has other plans.

20 free challenges · Unlock all 56 with a one-time purchase · No subscriptions

Download on the App Store
🎮

More Coming

More games in development. Same promise: no garbage, just fun.

Got an idea? Tell us →

The Shwarped Promise

We got tired of kids games that nickel-and-dime families.
So we made something different.

🚫No ads. Ever.
🚫No subscriptions.
🚫No accounts or sign-ups.
🚫No pay-to-win add-ons.
🚫No data collected. Zero.
✅Just a game your kid will beg to play.

We're Listening

Shirt idea? Print request? Found a bug in a game? Just want to say something broke in the funniest way? Let us know — we read every message.